When.....

When did you last laugh so much that you had to hold your sides?
When did you last hold a little hand and felt close to God?
When did you last look at the sky and try to count the stars?
When did you last stop all work and go watch a play?
When did you last learn something new and feel on top of the world?
When did you last slow down to savour the finer things of life?

When did you last live life?

I have deadlines to meet. I have work to do. I am too grown up to be this irresponsible.I am too busy. I am past this. I just can't.

Yes, you're right. You can't.

"When we recall the past, we usually find that it is the simplest things - not the great occasions - that in retrospect give off the greatest glow of happiness."
Bob Hope

The darkest hour...

Me: "What is that one thing that you would change if you could relive your entire life?"
Her: "Nothing, absolutely nothing. I'm happy with what I am, with what I've become."

And I could hear glass break. That sound in my ears was too loud to be mistaken. I went dumb.

Her: "What happened? Why are you silent?"
Me: "You know; If I had asked a stranger the same question, she would have said the same thing."
Her: "What does that mean?"
Me: "Nothing."

The glass was broken. Maybe I could pick up the pieces and join them back. But I didnt want to go into the trouble.
Why is glass so brittle?
Why do I let it break?
Why didn't I catch it?
Am I butter-fingers?

Such doubts crowd your mind. And you turn. And toss. You can't sleep. You aren't gonna do anything productive while awake. You are stuck. You are broke. You haven't broken up. But you aren't committed anymore. You don't know where you are going. You don't want to go anywhere. You don't wanna stay. You are at odds. With yourself. This is one of those times that men turn either philosopher or alcoholic. This is one of those times that you wake up. That darkest hour of the night before dawn. This is the final hurdle. This is the time that there is hope. That things will get better. From the south pole, every direction is north. It can only get better. If you get past this. IF.

Tomorrow remains to be seen. Today is what it is. The present. A Present.

Who am I.....

Five o'clock in the morning and you've been awake 2 hours. You look out of the balcony. "It'll be light soon", you reassure yourself, "and I won't be alone anymore." Its tough being alone even when the others are just sleeping in the room next to you. Somehow, loneliness is unbearable. It stretches your patience and sense of self to the max. After some time, you crave human contact. WHY???

She rolls her eyes from you to your neighbor. Your neighbor smiles and calls out to her. He absolutely adores her; loves her. He reaches out and takes her in his arms. You smile. She's looking at you now. Like a baby looks at everything. Like every baby looks at everything. You wish the moment lasted forever. You click a snap of her. She's cute; she's beautiful; she's the prettiest girl that you have seen. You love her too. And yet you can bear to have her in another's arms. What is it that this girl of a few months arouses in you? WHAT???

You love change. You like new clothes. You like new cars. You even like new friends. You like travelling. You have been to cities, towns and villages. You have been to the hills, the valleys and the lakes. Yet you go again. Back to those simple things. The same pristine spring that flows from the mountain. The same woods where you used to bring your spouse when she wasn't your spouse. You marvel at the origin of these simple pleasures. You marvel at who could have designed them. WHO???

Query + Curiousity = Queriousity.